The e-mailbox is filling with newsletters and articles reflecting back on the past year’s accomplishments, tragedies, learning experiences and peculiarities. Often these end with a hopeful look forward. The writer’s emphasis depends on whether she’s seeking to inspire, grieve, motivate or simply amuse. Looking backward can be instructive but it seems that in the hectic holiday season between looking backward and looking forward (from the short-term to-do list to your 2009 resolutions), there’s not much time left to just be present.
It’s a beautiful season. Spiritual and non-spiritual seekers alike welcome and rejoice in the return of the sun. We gather with family, friends, community, tribes for a moment’s grace and the chance to be kids with kids. In the continual loop of holiday movies on television, there are bound to be one or two that stir up childlike wonder, unrestrained laughter and a slow trickle of sentimental tears.
I’m taking time out from spinning the mental wheels backward and forward. I’ve shifted into park for just a moment. Here’s December 22. It’s 4:45 p.m. and I’ve just plugged in the line of tiny, multi-colored lights that rim the balcony rail. The bright dots of red, green, blue and yellow are sharp against the blue-gray evening clouds. The air is cutting cold and I hurry back inside to the warmth and the desk chair. A slow exhale. Fingers make a quiet tap, tap on the laptop keyboard. In this moment, there’s no rushing through stores, scribbling menus and shopping lists, last minute gifts. Just the glow of the computer screen, a trickle of words in the mind. Back against the backrest, eyes lowered. Another exhale. Heartbeat slows and- for a brief moment- there is absolute silence within and without. This is, after all, the season of peace. This is the present.
